18 Best Ways to Reward Your Dominant

In the BDSM dynamic, the role of the dominant extends beyond control-they also need acknowledgment and rewards. Recognizing your dominant's efforts enriches your relationship, ensuring it remains dynamic and fulfilling. This guide details 18 ways to appreciate and incentivize your dominant, from simple affirmations to more personalized gestures.

Dominants in BDSM crave not just control, but also recognition and rewards. Show your appreciation for their efforts to keep the dynamic exciting and fulfilling. This guide offers 18 ways to do just that.

1. Provide verbal affirmations

Actively communicate your gratitude by specifically mentioning the aspects of your dominant's behavior that you appreciate. For example, you might say, "I really valued how you handled our session yesterday; your attentiveness made me feel very cared for." Such targeted compliments not only boost their confidence but also clarify which of their actions are most impactful to you.

2. Offer further submission

Enhance your role by taking on new submissive tasks that align with your dominant's preferences. For instance, if they have expressed a desire to see more discipline in daily routines, you could propose specific ways you could incorporate that, like asking for daily tasks or rules. This shows your commitment to evolving the dynamic and provides your dominant with fresh opportunities to exert their authority.

3. Ask for consent before service

Before you undertake any service-oriented task, seek your dominant's approval. For example, rather than just preparing a meal or organizing their space, you could first ask, "Would you like me to make dinner tonight?" or "May I organize your study to your preference?" This approach reinforces their control and emphasizes your role as a submissive, actively engaging them in every decision and enhancing the power dynamic.

4. Write heartfelt notes or letters

Put your feelings into words and write them down, whether in a brief note or a detailed letter. This can be particularly impactful if you find it hard to express emotions aloud. You might write, "I felt incredibly supported during our last session and I am grateful for your guidance and patience." These written tokens of appreciation can serve as powerful reminders of your respect and admiration, helping to deepen the emotional connection between you.

5. Gift thoughtful items

Select gifts that align with your dominant's preferences and the nature of your dynamic. For instance, if they have shown interest in expanding the types of play you explore together, you could purchase new toys or gear, like a set of cuffs or a new whip, which could enhance your sessions. Alternatively, you might choose symbolic items like a collar or a special piece of jewelry that reflects the commitment and trust within your relationship. Such gifts demonstrate your attentiveness to their desires and your eagerness to contribute to the evolving dynamic.

6. Prepare for scenes proactively

Take initiative by setting up the environment according to your dominant's likes before a scene. If they appreciate a particular setting or mood, adjust the lighting, music, and any props accordingly. You might also dress in a way that you know appeals to them, whether that involves specific outfits or accessories that enhance the role-play aspect of your dynamic. This readiness not only shows your enthusiasm but also allows your dominant to immediately engage in the scene, enhancing the overall experience for both of you.

7. Engage in acts of service outside routine

Show your dedication by performing tasks that go beyond your usual responsibilities. For example, if you typically handle household chores, you could extend your service by organizing a personal space for your dominant that they have been meaning to arrange but haven't found the time for. This act of service demonstrates your initiative and deepens your submission, showing that your commitment extends beyond expected duties.

8. Allow the dominant to decide

When you propose new tasks or forms of submission, always let your dominant choose whether to proceed. For instance, if you suggest a new protocol or routine, frame it as a question: "Would you like me to start preparing your coffee in the morning as part of my service to you?" This respects their authority to guide the relationship's direction and reinforces their role in deciding how the dynamic evolves.

9. Commission custom BDSM gear

Have custom BDSM gear made specifically for your dominant, such as a bespoke flogger with a handle crafted from their favorite material, or a custom-made leather harness. This personalized approach not only caters to their specific tastes but also adds a meaningful touch to your sessions.

10. Plan a special day or evening

Organize a day or evening that caters specifically to your dominant's interests and preferences. This could include planning activities they enjoy, like attending a role play party, visiting a museum, or having a meal at a beloved restaurant. Tailoring the day to their tastes shows your attention to their preferences and serves as a meaningful gesture of your appreciation.

11. Sponsor attendance at a BDSM convention

If there are specific conventions or gatherings that focus on BDSM, sponsoring your dominant's attendance can be a great way to show appreciation. It allows them to connect with the wider community, learn new skills, and bring fresh ideas back into your dynamic.

Sponsoring your dominant's attendance at BDSM events shows appreciation and allows them to bring fresh ideas to your dynamic.

12. Upgrade Playroom

Enhance the space where you engage in scenes by adding or upgrading equipment like a new St. Andrew's cross, a high-quality spanking bench, or sophisticated restraint systems. Investing in the physical environment not only shows appreciation but also invigorates the dynamic with new possibilities for play.

13. Organize a relaxation day

Arrange a day dedicated entirely to your dominant's relaxation and enjoyment. This could include a spa day, a professional massage at home, or a quiet day with their favorite movies and comfort food. The goal is to allow them to unwind and feel pampered, appreciating their efforts in leading the dynamic.

14. Enroll in a workshop or class together

Sign up for a class or workshop that can enhance your BDSM dynamic, such as a bondage technique class or a workshop on safe impact play. This not only shows your commitment to growing within the dynamic but also provides your dominant with new skills and ideas that can be exciting and invigorating for both of you.

15. Document your Journey

Create a scrapbook or digital album that highlights the key moments in your relationship. Include photos, mementos, and notes about significant experiences or scenes you've shared. This not only serves as a thoughtful gift but also as a reflection of the time you've spent together and the growth you've experienced under their guidance.

16. Celebrate doms' achievements and efforts

Take time to recognize and celebrate the efforts your dominant puts into managing the relationship and your growth. This could be acknowledging their creativity in planning sessions or the personal milestones they achieve within the dynamic. Celebrating these moments can be as simple as preparing a special dinner to mark the occasion or verbally expressing your gratitude for their dedication, highlighting how their actions contribute to the strength and depth of your connection.

17. Provide feedback post-scenes

After each session, share your thoughts about what you particularly enjoyed and what had a significant impact on you. For instance, you might say, "I really appreciated how you took care of me during our last scene; it made me feel very connected to you." This feedback is crucial as it helps your dominant understand what works well and ensures they feel their efforts are effective and valued, reinforcing their confidence and satisfaction in the role.

18. Encourage dominance

Actively support your dominant by affirming the behaviors and actions that fulfill you. Encouragement can be as direct as saying, "I love it when you take control like you did today; it really deepens my submission." Such affirmations motivate your dominant and reinforce the behaviors that strengthen your dynamic, ensuring they feel recognized and empowered to continue leading in the ways that most benefit both partners.

Dominant appreciation strengthens BDSM trust and connection.

The Bottom Line

Acknowledging your dominant is key to maintaining a balanced and thriving BDSM relationship. Whether through words of appreciation or thoughtful gifts, each act of recognition reinforces the trust and respect between you. By actively valuing your dominant's contributions, you foster a deeper connection and encourage a continued exploration of your shared dynamic.

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